Chosen For Heaven

Joshua Van Oostrom

My heart yearns for righteousness. It detests evil. I have strength even when I feel weak. But yet I fall and fall again. A habit of self-destruction has developed, a sinful path. It seems so easy to overcome upon reflection, but in the moment, a cloud of selfishness overwhelms my conscience. It becomes difficult to see and even harder to think. I hear the Spirit of the Lord try to pull me to safety but too often do I reject His guidance. I think I can bear the temptation and flirt with wrongdoing. The idea is weakness, not strength. The enemy plays me like a fiddle and drags me deeper into the pit. My selfish desires do not glorify my Lord. I am not even worthy to call Jesus my “Lord” for I do not serve him wholeheartedly. My spirit groans within me because the space inside for Jesus is shrinking.

I face no earthly struggle. I have food, shelter, and people who love and support me. I have friends, a Spirit-filled girlfriend, and I have been delivered from my fleshly past. Needless to say, the Lord has blessed me beyond my worth. Yet, I disgrace His name and take advantage of His goodness. His grace will remain with me forever, which is something I cannot possibly understand. He does not require much and He gives more than what is needed. He is a faithful witness and dwells in utmost Holiness. He is to be feared, but perfect in love. He has redeemed me and not forsaken me. I have turned my face from Him. I have chosen myself and my desires over Him. I have fled His presence for my own pleasure. He has called me and I have delayed my answer. He has continuously sought me out and I have hid in the shadows. My bonds must be broken, my pride stomped on. I cannot continue on this path filled with thornbushes. I cannot serve two masters and hope to live. These choices lead to death, but my God is life.

My life is hid with Him and I must seek after it. I must find it in His glory and choose the narrow path. My hypocrisy cannot escape me and I cannot rest in failure. I must turn back to my Father, my Creator, with all my might. The time for a lukewarm attitude passed long ago. I tiptoe on the edge of eternal defeat. I ask for help while taking a dangerous position. My life is as a whisp of wind and I treat it like I’ll have a hundred more. How many lost souls are stranded without the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ? Who am I to misuse and abuse the opportunity I have been given?

My Lord has selected me to know Him. He has picked me up out of the filthy muck and washed me clean with His blood. There is no one like Him, but there are millions of sinners like me. I am done serving the enemy. I am done living for the world. I am a Kingdom citizen and as such, I have no greater responsibility than to serve. Make me Your servant, O Lord, my God.